


Purple hyacinth

by SPR0UT



Series: Silverboys:One shots [1]
Category: C9 BOYZ (Band), CIX
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 03:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19220950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SPR0UT/pseuds/SPR0UT
Summary: Stole the idea from scripturientt and minus the hanahaki disease and strayed far from the prompts sskskb forgive me gail ilysmAlso im bad at angst





	Purple hyacinth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scripturientt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scripturientt/gifts), [NoRae_Woo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoRae_Woo/gifts).



"Seunghun,"Byounggon smiled brightly at the blonde who just came back from work.He tackled him into a hug and planted a kiss on his husband's cheeks.

"How's your day?"Seunghun leaned in to kiss the older on his lips.

"I just finished revising,and I ordered chicken."the ravenette led his husband to the kitchen where he already prepared dinner,just in time before Seunghun would arrive from work.

This became their routine since when?4 or 5 years ago?

They're married for 4 years now.Both had stable jobs,Seunghun is working in a law firm and Byounggon is a well known novelist with a lot of his works being recognized.

Their relationship is something a lot is envious for.They're very much childhood  friends turned lovers and now they was happily married--was.

Byounggon always knew something was off.Something wasn't right.They're together for such a long time he can read through Seunghun like an open book.

Regret.

Byounggon would pretend that he can't see the regret whenever he would meet Seunghun's brown orbs.He would act like everything is fine.

He would still kiss Seunghun with much passion.With so much love.

He would brush off the anxiety everytime his husband will come home late--or won't come home at all.

He'll accept all the apologies the next day in a heartbeat.He gave so much trust in Seunghun.

He loves me like I love him he won't do such thing.

He would always remind himself that.

But as the time passes,the positive thought starts to fade.Such thoughts will be replaced by unease.

How did all end up like this?Why did we end up like this?

He would ask himself always whenever he would find himself alone in their shared bedroom.

He gripped the soft sheets as if it's the only thing that brings him comfort through this cold night.

Seunghun had gone off to somewhere again.Somewhere Byounggon didn't know.

He's probably with a stranger.

Byounggon didn't let his thoughts continue as he sighed all of his doubts away before pain consume him and push him to fall into the void of non-ending emotional spiral and self deprecation.

But it's all too late as he felt a sharp pain pierce his chest and his head started to throb hard.

Not now please not now.

He chanted inside his head with all the effort to drag his body out of the bed and run towards the bathroom despite the pain which is taking over his system.

Not now please not now.

But it's already late when he started to throw up.Tears welled up in his eyes as an instinct of pain while he coughed purple petals.

Petals which resembled the purple reminders that liter his body after the heated nights he shared with his Seunghun.

Petals so pretty you wouldn't think it meant regret.

He planted the seeds of purple hyacinth ever since the day Seunghun started to show up less.

Since the day guilt laced his pretty eyes whenever he looked at the older.

Byounggon planted the seeds of regret deep in his heart and watered it with the thought that it's all his fault Seunghun fell out of love.

He looked at the petals once more before wiping away the tears before it would fall.He gathered it all and threw it away in trash bin.

He calmed himself down before attempting to get out of the bathroom.But before he can step out.He met his reflection.

His eyes red from crying,face stained with dried tears.His red hued nose and cheeks contrasted his once red lips paled the same as his skin who looks pale like a fresh snow.

"You...You're so weak."He muttered under his breathe before turning away.

\----

Byounggon woke up in an unfamiliar place.The white ceiling greeted him,the nostalgic scent of metal and artificial things meddled in the air.People with medical attires scurried around him to check him.

The only thing he remembered was the time he's washing his hands then everything blacked out.

I passed out?

 

His throat felt itchy and his head hurts.

 

When the nurses walked away,he looked around but found no one.

 

The door creaked open so he turned his head just to meet Seunghun's eyes who just entered the hospital room.

 

He tried to stand up but Seunghun quickly rushed over to stop him.

 

"please stay still,"Seunghun stated,worry evident in his tone.He gave Byounggon a glass of water and remained still at his side.

 

Byounggon thanked him and smiled before shifting his gaze at the white ceiling.He can't bare to gaze at Seunghun's eyes now.The shining eyes he loved to stare at--loved.He'll just hurt himself every time he'll see the remorse in his husband's eyes.

 

"I'm so sorry.."Seunghun's voice cracked.

 

Byounggon's smile turned into a sad one.

 

Guilt didn't left Seunghun's system as he let his knees collapse.He kneeled beside Byounggon's bed and looked at the floor.Heart clenching as he tried to held Byounggon's cold hands.The hand he always held strangely felt foreign.It's cold as stone now.

 

Ah he already knew.They probably told him.

Byounggon sighed and returned his gaze at the Younger with a weak smile.

"You don't need to apologize Hun,no matter what you do I'll always forgive you."Byounggon tilted Seunghun's chin to meet his eyes.He wiped his tears using his thumb.

"I'm the reason why you got that disease,I'm a fucking asshole.I'm a jerk I fell out of love I'm so sorry--please forgive me It's all my fault."Seunghun's tears ran down his face nonstop like the apologies that started to pour from his mouth.

"You don't deserve me Byounggon and I don't deserve to be happy.You shouldn't be lying there.Fuck I'm so sorry."Remorse took over his system as his hands shook in Byounggon's.He blamed himself for everything.

How could he cheat on the Guy who did nothing but love him?How can he fall out of love with the person he promised to spend all eternity with?How can he leave the Guy who stayed beside him even at his worst.

"Listen to me.Stop saying things like that.Don't cry ,I don't want to see you crying baby."Byounggon chuckled and intertwined their fingers together.

The end of his eyes creased as he smiled at Seunghun,a smile full of sincerity.

"You're dying because of me!I'm a monster!I left you to bleed on your own!"Seunghun exclaimed with much remorse.

"I hid it all these years because I'm afraid you'll leave me...I'd rather lost all of my blood from bleeding than to lose you Seunghun."Byounggon's grip on the latter's hands tightened as a tear escaped his eyes.The pain he's feeling in his body didn't helped either.It's evident on his face.

He's tired

 

 The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.

Seunghun remembered what the doctor said and gathered up all the courage to speak next.He couldn't bare seeing his Hyung suffer like this.Suffer because of him.

"If leaving you will be the only way to save you then I'll leave.A jerk like me will be no good for you!Your feelings for me will kill y--" 

"Then I'll accept my fate."Byounggon stated with finality catching Seunghun off guard.

"If me dying will be the reason for you to stay then I'll die!I already accepted the fact that I won't get your love Seunghun.I just want you to stay with me..."Byounggon cried quietly,crystal tears stained his pale face.Seunghun lost all of his words.Seeing his Hyung like this made him weak from guilt.

He already seen him like this.When Byounggon's mother left him in his aunt.That's the day he promised himself he'll never see his Hyung like that again.

 

Oh how the tables have turned.

 

Byounggon looked so frail he looked like he'll break if Seunghun tried to touch him.

 

Seunghun is the center of Byounggon's universe.They both knew that since they're kids.He loved him so much losing him will be the same as drowning.

 

And who knew loving too much will be the reason of his suffering?

 

Well even though love is labeled as poison he would still drink it.All for him,even if it's one sided.

 

"B-but--"

 

"I'll be selfish this time...I'll die loving you like you promised me to stay until my last  breathe."

**Author's Note:**

> Stole the idea from scripturientt and minus the hanahaki disease and strayed far from the prompts sskskb forgive me gail ilysm
> 
> Also im bad at angst


End file.
